I contemplated writing this post for a while. Was it a bit too much? Am I paranoid? But after thinking it through, it all relates back to one important notion that all female runners should take seriously: safety.
This past weekend’s 20 miler in the city was great. No qualms about the actual run itself. But what happened once before the run and once during the run is what made me stop and think.
In order to make it to the city by 7 a.m., I had to catch the 6 a.m. BART. Couple this with the fact that it’s still dark and cold outside, it’s a Saturday morning and there is barely anyone on the BART at that time, and you have a recipe for action. There are always shady looking people on BART, that’s just the nature of the beast. But you learn to not be afraid, but just think wisely. When choosing my seat, I sat far enough from one dodgy character to normally be considered safe. As I sat down I saw him staring. Like seriously, creepy staring. I stared back – the “I can see you are staring. I know your face now. I recognize you.” Usually at that point, people realize they’ve been caught and look away. But not this guy, he kept staring, and before you knew it, he got up and sat right next to me. In a train full of a ton of empty seats, I immediately got nervous, got up and moved to the end of the train where some other people were. Little did I know that there was an undercover cop on the train and he was watching the situation unfold the entire time. As I got up to move, the cop also got up and proceeded to address the creepy man. Later on, I found out that this guy is a “known nuisance” and rides the BART to stay warm during the night. Someone else mentioned that earlier that morning he had flashed some woman – you can imaging I was a little disturbed.
I tried to shake it off and was telling Nick and Katie about my experience and similar ones I’ve had while running. They must have thought I was uber-paranoid, until it happened again. On one of our final legs of the run, we stopped a water station for the local Nike run club. I was all out of water so I stopped and asked if I could fill up. As we were filling our bottles and politely chatting with the Nike woman, another disturbed man came up and started staring at Katie and I. Yes, I will admit that at this point we were running in our sports bras. We were in the upper teens of the mileage and it was hot out – a completely normal thing to do. The man kept rambling then proceeded to flash his nipple at us. Katie and I felt a bit awkward and just wanted to wrap things up. Then, as he walked past us, he grabbed my side. Granted, he didn’t grab my butt or chest, but I instantly felt violated. I don’t think Katie and Nick realized what happened until he was gone, but I encourage us to just keep running.
I honestly didn’t know what to do at that moment. It wasn’t worth starting something but it did give me a bit of a platform to talk about safety here on my blog. It’s an unfortunate fact, but as female runners we must always remain vigilant, aware and safe. Please, never run without sharing:
- Share the run with a fellow buddy.
- If you have to run alone, share your course with someone so they know where you will be and when they should expect you back.
- If you are going on an “exploration run,” tell someone what time you anticipate being back and text them when you get back.
- ALWAYS bring a cell phone and a credit card – you never know when you will need it (trust me, I’ve had to use them both before)I know, it’s a pain in the ass, but unfortunately it’s an essential.
Have you ever had any scary run-ins like this? If so, what did you do? And how do you ensure that you stay safe on your runs.
Stay safe and happy running.
Page, thank you so much for writing this post. As a fellow woman living in a city you always need to err on the side of caution when traveling, running, walking etc. I have a basic rule of thumb that if it’s dark out, I can’t run alone outside unless I have a buddy. If I end up getting caught in the dark, I am sure to have something reflective in nature on my person AND I end up employing the bear claw key trick in case any shady men run up behind me! Be safe!!
wow. thank you so much for writing this. I live in a relatively safe area compared to a big city but I definitely need to be more heads up when I run.
wow, this sounds awful. thanks for sharing – it’s always good to get a reminder about safety, even if it’s because someone else had a bad experience. 🙁 stay safe!!!
PAGE! This is terrifying! I didn’t know this — how creepy that they both happened in places that had other people nearby, too. Ugh. Thanks for writing this; it’s a good reminder to always be aware of what’s going on around us.
oh my gosh, I am so sorry you had to go through that- but thank you for sharing because you are able to help someone else! I am 27 years old and my dad won’t let me do long runs alone…
Ughh I’m sooo sorry you had to go through that. You were smart to move your seat. One other suggestion I got a long time ago when I drove cross country- don’t look at anyone who looks shady. You staring back at him probably made him think it was okay to approach you. Hopefully this won’t happen to you again!
That is scary! I always feel uncomfortable when there aren’t many peopel around, so I try to stay in relatively well populated areas on my runs. And at night I stay off the trails and only run on well lit city streets. Good idea to share though!
wow that’s super creepy. Luckily I havent had any weird experiences like that. But I do run in the morning, and morning for me is 8am, in residential neighborhoods, so normally all I see are kids getting on school buses.
I also always carry my phone.
Wow, your story is really scary. That guy sitting next to me on the train might have pushed me over the edge. I’m with Lizzy, if someone is acting really bizarre, I try not to look at them at all, since even looking at them can make them pay attention to you even more it seems like. Thank God for that cop being around, or else I might have just lost it and started making a ton of noise or something in hopes someone around me would help.
And the guy touching you on the run? That is again scary.
I swear that all the scary encounters I have with people seem to happen on BART, that train just breeds crazy people. I was riding BART like 5 years ago, and a guy decided it was a good idea to try to punch a hole through the train flexiglass. Someone on the train then started taunting the guy for some reason, and I seriously thought the guy was going to start fighting the kids that were taunting them. My friend and I didn’t want to move, for fear that the guy might see us and then come after us. One of the scariest moments I’ve had on a train.
Stories like yours are why I don’t go to SF that often, seems like when I go up there I run into people who are just not in touch with reality. I don’t like leaving my bubble known as the South Bay. But seriously, you might want to consider getting some mace to carry with you or something on runs (maybe you can put it in your water belt pocket or something), because your stories really are scary.
I live in SF and have specifically avoided signing up for a race these few months because I refuse to train until after next week (daylight savings!) so I can run in the light after work. My boyfriend goes for 9pm and 10pm runs all the time and thinks nothing of it. As a female, I simply won’t run in the dark, and I only wear headphones when there are lots of runners around. I once started exploring a new trail in the Presidio at 2pm on a sunny Saturday and was so creeped out by being completely ALONE that I actually turned around and went back to Chrissy Field!
Better to be extra paranoid and safe – than sorry. Thanks for writing this post!
Hey, I’ve been stalking around your blog for a week or so now but I thought I’d say hello. I’m glad you shared this story. I haven’t run into anyone like that on a run (thankfully!) but I can imagine something like this happening anytime I’m out after dark. We have some creepers in town! It sounds like you did a good job handling both situations. Great safety tips too. Do you bring pepper spray when you run alone?
Love the monster characters by the comments!
Although it is scary in the mornings, I like to run then because no one is out. Now I don’t live in an urban area so its a lot different. I always tell ppl my route and wear all my reflective stuff. Also running with my running group is nice because then I always have ppl.
Christ, isn’t it RIDICULOUS that we all have these stories?
I have seen more naked penises while running than any woman ever should. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? NAKED PENISES.
It happened once in Golden Gate Park — a guy hiding between trees was flopping it on display as I ran buy.
It happened in my neighborhood, as I was walking the 0.5 miles from my gym to my apartment. A guy jumped out from behind a car to masturbate for me. how fucking sweet.
It happened on a busy street in Los Angeles. A car pulled over, I walked toward it thinking they wanted directions, and a guy again flopped his penis on display.
A man sat next to me on BART once, with his hands deep in his pants, and his hands very busy. I can only suspect.
Those are the immediate ones that come to mind. Cars pull over and say non-threatening things too, like asking for your # or using some lame pick-up line, but even that can feel threatening when you are by yourself.
I don’t run with a phone, ever. I guess I’ll have to rethink that. This was cathartic, thank you.
I would have been crazy scared. I’ve definitely been caught in bad situations before. One time a man harassed me and kept circling back in his jeep when I was running on a back road in Vermont. It’s definitely a good idea to run with people or carry a phone when you’re out.
I live and run in a VERY rural area and I’m trying to think about my own safety more too. Generally everyone I run into is super friendly because it’s a small town in the country and 99% of the time I have my 90 lb dog with me. Whenever I’m running too far to take the dog though, I always make sure to take some pepper spray with me – it is FRUSTRATING that we have to put so much thought into protecting ourselves.
I always thought about writing a post like this too. So soooo soooo glad you did! we all need to be aware. Thank you friend.
Wow! Scary and creepy! I’m glad there was a cop watching. Thanks for the tips! And be careful!
I was a BART commuter for 2 years so I know exactly what you experienced and I’m relieved nothing happened to you (I’ve seen bad things happen on BART). I have set out on new trails alone without telling anyone and without a phone or credit card. I need to realize that my Road ID alone isn’t enough to save me. Thanks for reminding me of these tips!
Yikes! Two in one day! Sorry you had to deal with that. One thing you have going for you is that you could probably run away from any sketchy characters without fear of them catching up to you.
I think I have the opposite tactics. I avoid eye contact, verbal communication or anything that might make someone think I want to interact with them in any way. However…I think I would have yelled at that guy or elbowed him in the gut for touching me. Yes, I have done both in the past.
Page THIS YOUR MOM!
OMG…….NO race, run or otherwise is worth the risk. You never get on that Bart at wee hours alone on semi empty train. Yikes I’m shaking
at the thought
Hard cold fact is people will cut your throat for a
quarter. If you are so compelled to run with risk then get yourself a taser gun, a bear size can of
mase. Not a cute key chain size!!!! You can
asses and stare down any creep you want but that won’t save your life. I know I sound over protective but your foolish if you don’t prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Funny, my husband and I just had this same conversation. I recently started to down load books related to running onto my kindle. Second book and the second set of stories about women who encountered assualts or attempted assualts while running. Due to weather I am currently running inside and really, concerned about when it is time to get back on the road. So discouraging that this is something to worry about in addition to increasing your distance. :(. Hopefully with strong legs and killer arms the offender should be worried. Glad you remained safe and unharmed. Kudos for you for following you instinct and getting out of there.
Stay happy and safe.
OMG i have chills!
I got followed on my 19 miler one day by two creepy men in an old truck. mind you i run out in the middle of no where and by myself… NOT SMART but i was tired and ready to be done. I was about 4 miles away and trying to stay positive- it was hotter than hell & i just needed to stop… up rolls this creepy as F truck and these two guys are hanging out the window starring at me… at this point im starring back and they continue. they drive slowly pass me and turn around and have stopped and are STILL starring. i get SO freaked out i call my mom… although i did not want to stop i did not feel safe anymore. as im on the phone they slowly pass by again and my parents arrived QUICK. took me home & i finished my run. after that, i havent ran further than 8 miles BY myself or out alone because im so scared. I always tell everyone where im going and have proper stuff with me. when i get paid this week im buying a road id for sure!