Oh dear! How could I have forgotten?!? How terribly rude of me to not introduce you to my new boyfriend. Tisk, tisk, tisk.
Well, some things are worth waiting for so allow me to introduce you to my new main squeeze: the Garmin Forerunner 405.
You see, this relationship is new to me as my last boyfriend and I had to call it quits.
It started off with giddy squeals, long runs on the beach and we both enjoyed getting sweaty. He would beep sweet nothings at me and I would get lost looking into his eyes. We frolicked, traveled the world together, made memories of a lifetime and I knew that I could always count on him.
But as time went on, the honeymoon began to fade.
I would ask him to do something, something as innate to his being as a simple charge, but he would refuse to help and would sit on the couch pouting instead. I really don’t think I was asking that much.
He didn’t need to buy me fancy gifts or even send me flowers, I just wanted him to display my pace and time — that’s all. I didn’t even take advantage of any of his other features, including his rock hard core.
As our relationship began to crumble, I started wondering if I was to blame. So I coddled him, charged him and gave him all the juice he could ever need. But apparently the energy I was providing wasn’t enough.
Later in our relationship, I would take him to new cities like Boston and Big Sur, but he wasn’t appreciative of all that I was providing him. Here I was, planning and executing every part of our relationship and all he had to do was show up, and what did I get in return? Taunting jabs like “low battery.” When he foiled Boston by running away and refusing to join in the fun, I realized that enough was enough.
I no longer cared about all that we had been through together, it was time for bigger and better things – I put him on the shelf and couldn’t look back.
One day, a friend told me to head to the online dating site known as Amazon.com, where the Ryan Gosling of what I was looking for was the deal of the day. As soon as I checked him out, my heart was aflutter.
So this little Chicken I know had this special surprise shipped my way for my birthday and I couldn’t be happier. I’ll admit, the relationship is still new and we’re getting to know each other but if I tell you something will you promise not to tell him?
I think I’m in love.
Oooh, your boyfriend is a hottie!
I was actually going to snag myself a green 405, then my mom was like “oh here, you can have my 410,” so I went ahead and accepted.
But yeah, sounds like a keeper!
Oh man, it’s going to be complex. wait until your new man has difficulties lasting as long, ahem, as you need. May I suggest turning off any uneeded features in order to prolong your time together?
Nick
bahahah omg is this not the freaking funniest post ever….lol therapy for you ???
I love my 405! Now if I could just get it to clean the house and make dinner I would be all set
oooh, he is dead sexy. HELLO.
Love the Garmin 405! Well, I have the 405CX. We just can’t share the same boyfriend! I’m too selfish.
Glad you’ve fallen in love with him! Me and my beau are having an amazing time together!
Wow, this post is hilarious!
Can’t believe you are cheating on the 305! lol
AHHH you are going to love him! I have the 405 and cant get enough! lol
And I have that tank top in blue too! hehe!
I have a 405 and really like it, The only thing I found annoying was leaving the bezel active when running. Now I lock it so it doesn’t beep erratically when i get super sweaty, and then its perfect.
Ugh, yes, I have the same problem with mine! I lock my bezel as soon as I start runs with it now or else it freaks out and beeps like crazy once I start to sweat! Other than that I have no complaints; I’m in love 🙂
Yay! I LOVE my 405 too! Such a great present!
Haha…I still have my 205 and love it. Still going strong, but waiting for signs of lifelessness….I am curious how the 405 & 410 are though!
I love this post! Hope your husband isn’t too jealous of your new sexy boyfriend 😉
I am so happy you have moved on to someone that treats you better:) That honeymoon stage sounded exactly like my relationship with my 305…especially the sweaty part (you are hilarious!)
cute lil boyf! 🙂