I feel like this should be my People magazine baby cover where I reveal the name of my new baby and am Photoshopped to a point of unrecognizability. With my pixelated complexion and adoring husband peering over my shoulder to gaze down at the new baby, the headline would read…
Page & Chicken Face Welcome Latest Addition…Dora
The tabloids would be in a tizzy and Ryan Seacrest would be calling me asking why on earth would I pick Dora as the name of my new baby. Tisk, tisk, Ryan, haven’t you been reading the blog? Surely Betty White would appreciate the choice of such a “classic” name and a certain Nick Jr. character would be honored with my selection.
That’s right folks, I finally chose what to name my beloved baby, my two wheeled-compadre, and my new best friend. My bike, Dora the Explora’ (please pronounce “Explora” not “Explorer” – I have copyright infringement to deal with and I need street cred.)
Why did I choose Dora as the name of my beloved? Allow me to count the ways:
- If my bike was male, I’d name him Fred because of this. But I was blessed with a female bike with Tiffany Blue tape and I needed a classic, four-letter name to honor my Fred-ness.
- I am horrible with directions. So bad that you would never want me on your Amazing Race team. And when I thought about Dora The Explorer, that girl is just about as clueless as I am when it comes to directions as she’s always screaming for that damn MAP! MAP! MAP! We’re like two peas in a pod, except I use my iPhone map.
- As useless as Dora the Explorer is with directions, she still likes to go on adventures and any five-year-old who is down with exploring scary jungles and speaking Spanglish is cool with me. I’m looking forward to the adventures that my Dora The Explora’ will take me on.
- Dora is Latina, I’m Latina (half Chilean, in fact)…so you know…it just makes sense.
- Dora has a monkey as a best friend. I have a Chicken Face and a Yorkie.
- Any girl who wears the same orange shorts and purple t-shirt day after day must be training for an Ironman. No time for fashion. But we do need to talk to her about that exposed stomach – what a hoochie.
- Velcro shoes. Enough said.
Thanks for all of your suggestions and a special shout out to Holly for also recommending Dora as a name!
What’s your bike’s name? Or maybe you’ve named your Garmin?