Dear Summer,
I regret to inform you that while your early arrival may appear to be a blessing to some, it is in fact, an inconvenience in my quest to successful athletic endeavors. Your presence is deceitful as I find myself rejoicing in your potential, but by the end, I have melted into my own physical demise and I am cursing your name.
This weekend was a prime example of why I will only be able to handle large doses of you periodically. I had 56 miles on tap, an amount that is no longer daunting but now welcome and gleefully anticipated. I met up with a new cycling group at 8 a.m., wearing cycling shorts, a tank top jersey and what felt like a gallon of eight hour sunscreen. Within a matter of minutes I realized that your prowess would be challenging and the forecasted temps of 104 degrees would surely be painful.
Documented proof of your tyranny.
Needless to say, the ride was hilly, hot and wreaked havoc on my heat tolerance. I quickly went through three water bottles filled with CarboPro and electrolytes and by mile 45, with only 11 miles to go, my mouth was chalky, the sweat was profuse, and I was verbally bashing your evil ways. I don’t know how you do it (well, actually I do), but your ability to literally squeeze people for all that they’re worth and leave their remnants melting on the pavement is baffling and unwelcome.
Once you have committed your brutal ways, I am left with scars of punishment, including the always-glamorous bike tans lines, or as I was recently informed, sun socks. You mock me with these permanent impressions and then I continue to get mocked by fellow humans when in a bathing suit.
So today, I am offering you a deal. Together, we will position you in a role of power. But unlike the power that you’re used to blindly thrashing upon us, this new role will be a welcome one for all mankind. Perhaps this is a generalization, but trust me on this one, it will behoove us all. From this day forward, I propose that you only blast us with temperatures above 100 degrees when you can guarantee at least one of the following: A) immediate access to a pool, ocean, river, or lake, complete with an inflatable alligator B) PG&E providing free air-conditioning, C) any type of adult drink accompanied by a wedge of pineapple or an umbrella.
These asks are a small price to pay and in return, the people will rejoice, frolic in the streets and will surely be chanting your name. I can hear it now, “SUMMMMMER! SUMMMMMER!” Shhhh, listen closely, you can hear it already. Feels good, doesn’t it?
With this, I thank you for your time and consideration – I look forward to my frilly drink.
Sincerely,
Page and every other athlete who has ever suffered through summer training
Amen. We’re hitting 90+ two days this week I’m Boston. Not looking forward to training those days….
Amen. We’re hitting 90+ two days this week in Boston. Not looking forward to training those days….
Literally laughing out loud at this…and I completely empathize. It’s been over 100 here a couple of times already and steadily in the 90s since May. Oh summer, you do love to kick our butts don’t you? I had my first “think I’m going to puke doing an easy 5K” moment on National Running Day- turns out it was 104 during the run. Oh, that explains it. Wishing you cooler temps, rapid hydration and smooth training. As for the tan lines, I’ve been known to wear different SPF levels on different parts of my legs/arms when in a bathing suit to “even out” the effects of biker tans….
Thanks for the awesome laugh!! Loved your post and agree 100% with your proposed deal! Stephanie
Sing it, girl! My thoughts exactly. I love the heat but this heat wave is killing my running!
lol, great post! Yea Saturday was insane for us around the bay area – though I guess in the rest of the country that may like an average summer day. But people in those parts of the country just know that they shouldn’t work out in conditions like that, but us out here usually try to power through it, haha. I went for a short run on Sat AM and it was even hot then! I don’t have AC in my house, so I was literally sitting around sweating for part of Sat, lol
Haha! So true! I love the summer heat…but only when I’m laying on the beach with a tropical cocktail
I ran an 8 miler (supposed to be 10…oops) without my hydration belt! Not very smart – obviously not prepared for summer weather, yet!!
Aaaah that sounds like a BRUTAL ride.
I really, really want to move to the East Bay. Really, really. But when I ran at 9 AM on Saturday and it was still only about 65 degrees, I realized I just might be taking our crappy weather for granted (especially when it comes to training)
This is hilarious! Add a paragraph to that agreement with summer to avoid Coeur D’Alene Idaho this Sunday please (but also to come in the days until then so the lake heats up a bit).
xoxo
I though SF didnt get hot??? Its going to be 90+ in NYC this week and I am cursing my existence and was plotting my escape to the west coast for good. Now you burst my bubble :/
Train in the city on the hot days – it’s 58 and foggy today. That’s perfect weather for riding a bike.
Inflatable alligator! Hahaha!! Does it count if I went to the pool after a long run yesterday, and it had an inflatable shark? I’d like to see them duel. I’d also like to see the sun and winter duel, because then the result would be spring. Glorious spring weather, please return!!
Hahaha, “sun socks.” Is there a similarly cute name for the watch tan I’m sporting? Or the ever-so-sexy bike shorts lines? (I guess those could be “sun shorts.”) Related: Every top I buy from now on must be a racerback. Think they make bridesmaids’ dresses in racerback?
Love this.
I THOUGHT THE BAY AREA WAS NOT SO HOT AND HUMID IN THE SUMMER?!? I’m leaving NYC for hotter weather?! What?!?
haha
Hoping maybe that 104 was a fluke
Hahhaha, drinks with umbrellas in them, PLEASE!! But yes, not totally looking forward to the awesome sports bra tan and being covered in sweat in thirty seconds.
OMG I trained for my many marathons while living in Phoenix in the dead of summer. There were times that it was 105F out by the end of my long run and I was seriously only moving forward to get back to my car! Felt like dying. And um now.. it gets to 80F and I’m like “wahh, its so hooooooooot here! yuck!”
haha Push through, you’ll be a stronger athlete. Some people never experience extreme temperatures. Not that its ever fun to train in, but its good experience for what ‘could be’. The year I ran the Chicago marathon in 2007 it was in the high 90s. 25% DNS, way higher DNF.. hundreds of medical emergencies. Total freak weather .. but to me it was just like I had been training in while in Arizona. Miserable but you know how to get through it. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!