First and foremost, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your support, tips, tricks and kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me as I continue to struggle through this. You guys are the BEST!
But, if you are sick of me talking about my ankle, welcome to the party, I am too. Sadly, it’s the only thing that’s on my mind right now, thus, it’s what I’ll be blabbing about until next Monday morning because Ironman Arizona is ONE WEEK AWAY TODAY!
So what’s the status on #AnkleWatch2012? Well, a lot.
Trying to stay positive.
I immediately stopped all training and worked from home for two days, making sure to RICE, RICE, RICE! With my ass firmly planted on the couch, I began to feel like a slug and decided to go into work on Friday, equipped with my ice pack and trash cans propped up enough to try and elevate my leg. Later that afternoon, my aunt brought me my cousin’s crutches so I could try and stay off of my foot as much as possible.
By Friday, I could put weight on it, but when I did the full walking motion, I could feel a twinge in my back heel. My amazing chiropractor was able to fit me in late Friday evening so I rushed over as soon as I was off of work. I trust him more than any other ortho doc I have been to (overcharged x-rays and rude bedside manner, no thank you) – he was also the one who helped rid me of all my knee problems, so let’s hear it doc!
The diagnosis: a sprain and a strain, and yup, there’s a difference.
Strain: stretch or tear of a tendon (think “t” for strain and tendon). Tendons connect muscles to bones.
Sprain: stretch or tear of a ligament. Ligaments connect bones to bones.
So, I messed up a tendon and a ligament, but I did not tear or break anything. Fabulous. But the good news is that my doctor thinks that I’ll be able to make it come race day – albeit much slower – and that has been quite the pill to swallow.
I’ve been training for a year for this race and as I grew, I began seeing stars and certain goal times. In fact, I had quite an ambitious secret goal time that both my coach and I thought I could achieve pending perfect race day conditions. But now, things have changed and I struggled accepting that.
I’ve trained so hard and was capable of an XX:XX finish!
I’ve never been one to race just to finish – I always have a goal!
I cried, had a massive meltdown in front of Chicken Face and couldn’t to accept this.
I kept asking myself, “Why? Why? WHY?!” over and over again.
But then I had to snap out of it because this, my friend, is not the end of the world. Far worse things could have happened, and far worse things DO happen. This incident is truly unfortunate, but for whatever reason, this is the hand I was dealt. I reminded myself once again of my dad’s motto, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you handle it.” Yes this is not ideal, but considering that my doctor believes that I’ll even be able to race I chose to change my mindset and consider it great news. I am continuing on with life as if race day WILL happen (minus the training) and trying to be as positive as I can while babying my ankle.
I dropped off Dora (my bike) and gear back to be transported to IMAZ.
I got a pro-race mani/pedi to match my bike!
So, if this race does happen, it just means that this race will be something very different…which leads me to this little blog.
Blogs are fantastic for so many reasons – the support, the friendships, the inspiration. But they’re also a mental trap in that often times you boast about all that you are going to do and then shit hits the fan and you feel like a fool. With that being said, I know I need to run this for myself and not anyone else. I need to forget about achieving my goal times so that I can report back on them, and instead race to be strong, healthy, and honestly, just to finish. For those tracking my times come Sunday, no need to do so. This race is no longer about how fast I can complete the race, but has morphed into just finishing. If it’s a 16 hour and 59 minute finish, I’ll take it, because it’s a grand finish in spite of all that has happened and once again, it’s about the journey rather than the goal. I’ll get my goal time on the next one 😉
Thank you again for all of your support and please keep sending those good vibes – the ankle needs them!