Training comes in multiples phases, but there’s one thing that’s for sure: peak training is a beast worth noting. The key identifiers of which are easy to spot and are sure to make any outsider question how you make it as a functioning human being. Perhaps I should wear a big sign around my neck that says, “I’M IN PEAK TRAINING. DON’T JUDGE ME!” Or maybe I could provide a list of essential indicators for anyone in said state.
You know you’re in peak Ironman training when…
- Your racer back tan line could be mistaken for a whale tail tattoo.
- Piles of laundry are now considered your interior décor.
- You go through at least three changes of clothing per day, with your work attire being the least important.
- You’re so tired of eating that you actually like the idea of intravenous feeding.
- This is day 39 that you’ve worn your hair in “top knot.”
- You start to wonder what people do with a full 48 hours of free time on the weekend.
- You questioned your coach multiple times asking, “Are you SURE this is humanly possible?”
- You have a perma-ring of broken hair all around your head from the swim cap. I call it the “Halo Effect.”
- Your wrists feel naked when you don’t have your Garmin strapped on. Good thing you have a tan line to comfort you.
- Date night is watching old episodes of “Arrested Development” and staying up way too late: 10 p.m.
- You’re 16-year-old acne has all reappeared, strategically where your bike helmet and straps hit your face.
- Heels are the equivalent of ancient torture mechanisms.
- You no longer feel awkward training with old men every weekend.
- The complete disarray of your home makes you worried that the “Hoarders” film crew might show up on your doorstep.
- Your dog no longer wants to play, but just waits to lick the sweat off of your feet.
- You train solo so often that carrying on conversations with yourself for six hours straight is no longer a problem.
- “Hurts so good” is your favorite phrase. So is, “SCREW YOU, HEAT!”
- Your pinky has gone numb from being in aero too long.
- “Hangry” is your most frequented emotion.
- Falling asleep at dinner is NBD. You’ll wake up in 15 minutes and eat again anyways.
- Trips to the chiropractor are the most social interaction that you get.
- You start to see the “blue line” in your sleep.
- When Training Peaks or Gamin Connect bugs out, you better pray no one else is in the room.
- You plan your work attire based on if you can wear compression sleeves underneath.
- Your foam roller is the closest thing you have to a BFF right now.
- Water bottles. EVERYWHERE!
- Salt caps seem to be falling out of the sky…or just every pocket.
- You feel like you could eat dinner with Michael Phelps and totally keep up.
- Helmets, heart rate straps and wet suits can all be found draped and drying from any shower or sink ledge. No space is safe.
- Your car’s stench of sweat and lake goop is enough to never let another soul inside your vehicle.
And you love every last minute of it.
Any others to add to the list?