Priorities are a funny thing.
At any given time, they are the thing that’s regarded as more important than another. They’re the things that you choose to dedicate your limited time to. Priorities are pieces of your time that are considered most valuable. But then they change.
For a long time, racing was near the top of that list. And while it still ranks up there, how I treat it has shifted and I am more than ok with this, even when I get the question that us athletes just love to ask, “What are you training for?”
Allow me to pause for a moment. That question is seemingly so benign, but can be subtly uncomfortable. When asked by certain people, it can feel like competitive pressure to come out with the biggest, most badass response.
A marathon!
An ultra!
An Ironman!
A race across the country using only your eyelashes!
A mission to Mars. Unassisted. With no navigation. And all you can eat is leftover robot parts you find in the red sand. Or dirt. Or whatever is on Mars. Good luck, you masochist!
Maybe this question was aggressive. Or maybe it was all in my own head and I was placing self-imposed pressure upon myself. I’m betting it’s most likely the latter.
I’m surrounded by incredibly talented athletes that conquer the seemingly impossible with grit and grace, then live to tell the tale on social media. I’ve never been competitive with the individual per se, but rather in awe. I just started to feel like I needed an equally badass answer.
In the midst of trying to maintain my training, a long-distance relationship with my husband, new jobs, and some other heavy happenings, life gave me a gool ol’ fashioned reality check. Years passed and subtly — or abruptly — priorities changed.
All of a sudden, “What are you training for?” stopped weighing so heavily on me. Running was, and still is, a big part of my life, but so is living life.
So here’s where we are: outside of a few fun runs, I haven’t raced since April 2015. But I did move back to California, started a new job, got promoted, DNS’d a marathon, traveled to Spain, had the best trip of my life in New Zealand, ran new trails, toyed with HIIT training, gotten back into yoga, rebuilt old relationships, spent time with my new nieces and nephews, found a best friend, joined a dodgeball league, made a great group of new friends, and so much more.
I will never say goodbye to racing, but the difference is that I don’t need to race every other month. Instead, I’m intentional about my time, priorities, and am leaving room for life.
So, you’re probably wondering, “What you are training for?”
Don’t worry. I welcome the question because the answer is simple and totally ok: nothing at the moment. I’m working on building my mileage back up and getting the most out of the summer. We’ll see what happens in the meantime.
I hear you on the pressure. I’ve told people that I’m retiring from Ironman after this season and they just give me an “oh poor weak, pathetic you” look. After 3 straight years of IM training, I want my life back! I could do without the smugness from some people though.
Even if all you did was walk every day, there’s nothing weak or pathetic about that. You do you!
I know what you mean when it comes down to priorities. I haven’t been training for a year now, feeling down /depression sucks/, but studying towards a Social work degree… I know I should ‘make time’ for running, but studying is more important at the moment, and I refuse to feel bad about it! Keep doing what makes you happy now!
Regards from UK!
Studying for your social degree — congrats! No need to beat yourself up — you’re doing great things regardless of how far you run!
I’m glad you wrote this. With social media, it’s overwhelming as it feels we are surrounded by high achieving people who manage to race every other week or so. I never felt bad myself about the fact I only race 2 goal races a year. But, this year, it’s different. I ran Boston for the first time in April. It was only my 2nd marathon and I trained hard for it. For reasons I still can’t figure out, it didn’t go as expected/dreamed. Almost 2 months after it, I’m drained. I lost my mojo. I still can’t run as my old self. It’s really unsettling. But, still, my love for running is here. I NEED to be outside running or going for a bike ride. I beat myself for not being able to focus on another goal, but, hey, maybe I just need to reset my mind. Do I need another goal race or do I feel a pressure to have one? It feels like everyone is going from a goal to another, but it doesn’t mean I or we have to follow and do the same. First of all, racing is a pleasure and it’s not the only thing in life 🙂
PREACH. This is for our enjoyment, and we should let go of that added stress we far too often put on ourselves.
Although I still have plenty of races on my schedule this year, this is the first time in a LONG time that I’m not putting training at the top of my priority list. It’s still high up there because it make time really happy, but with a new baby and a lot of responsibilities to juggle, I’m not going to be putting so much pressure on myself to perform (IE qualify for Boston). I want to be able to skip a run to have coffee and go for a walk with my husband and daughter and not feel guilty about it. I’ll still finish the race – maybe not as fast, but still with a smile!
We’re too old to put that kind of pressure on ourselves about this stuff anymore. Life is for the living!
This is EXACTLY where I am! I exercise 6-7 days a week — HIIT, running, cycling, swimming, yoga — and am as fit as ever. I don’t have the endurance of training for a long distance race, but I am fit. I am healthy. And my mind is as healthy as ever because I don’t have the race hanging over my head. I’m doing it because I want to, not because the training plan said to do it. The time I spend staying fit feels like fun, not work.
P.S. I noticed you posted a picture to IG from Sawyer Camp Trail. I live in San Mateo! I run there often! So beautiful!
Hello neighbor! That was the first time I ran there — it was lovely! And yes, getting back to it because it’s what you WANT to do is what it’s all about!
The pressure to have a ‘big’ goal is also quite entertaining. My husband’s doing an ironman in July so this half of the year, I’ve been training for 5ks and 10ks as it fits better in our family schedule. The number of people who have looked bewildered and said ‘You’re training for a 5k? You can do that easily can’t you?’.
Here’s the thing about 5ks and 10ks…they are SPRINTS. And man, sprints are hard!
I hear you on this. Exercise used to be top priority and I was always trying to be better. But now some other areas of my life have become the priority and while I still love to work out, I accept it as something that is fun, de-stressing, and keeps me in shape, even if that means I don’t dedicate as much time or structure to it as I did before.
Ultimately, we do this for fun. Right?
I think people often ask what someone is training for because it’s just an easy default question – like asking where you’re from or what you do for work. You don’t always have to have an answer, but it’s fun if there is one! I’m currently just running for fun (which is something!) because of upcoming surgery, but I’ll return to training for an event after, hopefully!
And there’s nothing wrong with running, biking, hiking, etc, just because you LIKE it.
Yes, totally agree. I think social media is a double-edged sword – it can be motivating and inspiration, but also a game of comparisons and competition. I wake up at 5:30 a.m. twice a week to train, because that’s what works for my schedule, but it’s really hard for me because I love sleeping. Then I look around and wonder how other people wake up at 4:00 a.m. every day, and/ or have kids (I’m don’t) *and* a full-time job *and* train more than I do. But then I take a step back and remind myself that running is a hobby, it’s not my job, and if I’m not enjoying it, what’s the point?
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