Anticipating the future has been called a fruitless endeavor. In doing so, you can forget to live in the present, embrace life as it’s happening, and suck up everything that it has to offer.
Despite being with my husband for over 13 years now (married for almost 6), I put off getting pregnant for so long, thinking that it would be the demise of both my physical and emotional essence, and that “future” was something that would just have to wait. I knew that I wanted kids someday. Just not then. There was so much that I still wanted to do and see before I seemingly gave it all up, and I wanted to truly live in the present.
“When am I getting grandbabies?” My mother would bemoan on a weekly basis.
Every time she asked I jokingly added on another year to my fake timeline. If these calculations were true, I’d probably be 107 by the time that first baby would come around.
To be honest, I feared that a pregnant future was going to turn me into one of “those moms” and I’d become a complaint-filled, fun-sponge — likely due to the decrease in wine consumption and increase in soul-sucking responsibilities.
As a soon-to-be 32-year-old woman, I’m what some might call “old” for a first-time mom. But despite my age or any preconceived notions as to when a women should or should not bear children, I don’t regret my decision to wait. And for what it’s worth, I believe that every woman has the right to choose their own path — kids, no kids, late kids, early kids, whatever. You do you.
So I traveled, climbed mountains, became an Ironman, focused on my career, took risks, and waited until it felt right. And while I don’t plan for any of these things to stop, I do anticipate a future of even more change, including the good and the bad — just like those that came along with pregnancy.
But now that I’m nearing the end of growing a tiny human inside of me, I can attest that being pregnant wasn’t what I expected — or feared. Sure it was a rollercoaster of emotion and change, but the funny thing about these changes is that they’re neither fleeting nor futile. Taken individually, each experience was something that I approached day-by-day. But reflected on as a whole, I learned that this next chapter isn’t the end, but the beginning of a future that is worth anticipating.
Being pregnant helped me discover more of what I truly value.
To try and balance the important versus the trivial.
To realize who my good friends are.
To recognize just how much my husband and family means to me.
And what I want out of the future is becoming a bit clearer day by day.
Instead of sucking me into the seemingly dark side that I thought was motherhood, it has already enlightened my insanely naive thinking as to why that “dark side” isn’t to be detested, but can be something worth anticipating. And being one of “those moms” is actually the greatest compliment some young, dumb, 20-something could give you. I love this kid so much already and I haven’t even met him. Is there anything in life you could say the same thing about? (Ok, puppies. I’ll give you puppies. And the perfect avocado.)
I can only imagine what’s to come.
I know that the new future that’s going to start any day now won’t be easy. I also know that one of my greatest stress relievers is a good ugly cry. Thus, I’m anticipating a tear-filled future that will likely make me question my sanity and decisions on a daily basis. And I’m 100% confident that I will struggle in finding the daily balance between everything I love. But even when that future becomes a reality, I can look back on this pregnancy as something that has changed me for the better, because smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.
So as important as living in the present is, I’ve also learned that reflecting on the past and anticipation of future can be good for the soul too. Each little bit can put life in perspective, and that’s what it’s all about.
And I’m really looking forward to meeting this little one (any minute now). A future definitely worth anticipating.
Good luck to you two! My husband and I just had our first (16.5 weeks ago) and while your whole world changes and it’s all consuming, it’s all in the best possible way. AND all those annoying cliché things you hear parents say? Yep, you’ll be saying them too:)
Bring on the cliches! 😉
And congrats on your new little one!
Yes! I’m a bit older and pregnant with #3. You don’t realize how enamored you’ll be with your kid. That giving up a lot of your pre kid activities isn’t so hard bc what you gain is so much better.
And I’m SO looking forward to that gain <3 Congrats on #3!
Thank you for this! I feel like your pre-pregnancy thoughts perfectly describe my feelings/fears right now (at 26). Even though kids are something that is still a very distant future for me, it was really wonderful to read how your thoughts have evolved as you’ve embarked on the adventure 🙂
Evolution is the perfect word. That’s life <3
I love everything about this! You’re an amazing writer, businesswoman, wife, friend and adventurer and that’s not going to change when you become a mother!
Love you friend!
Awe, Nicole. You are too nice. Thank you for your never-ending support and love <3
You are going to love being a mom. It’s the hardest, yet most rewarding job ever!
I worry about being an “old” mom as well. I’ve been with my fiancé for 8 years and we probably aren’t getting married for another 2 years. I know I want kids but this year we spent 3 months traveling after leaving or jobs and it was incredible. We know we want to do it again before kids. Travel and see the world. I’m 27 now and I no longer see 30 as being old. I am working on some fitness goals wth powerlifting now and hope to compete. Meanwhile I can spoil my friend’s kids to get my kid fix for the time being. It’s great to hear another woman’s perspective on having kids later.