5k:19:17 @ Dublin Shamrock 5k 2011
10k: 41:01 @ Scheel's Turkey Trot 2010
Half:1:30:07 @ Oakland Half 2012
Full: 3:12:57 @ CIM Marathon 2013
70.3: 5:20:07 @ Vineman 2012
140.6: 12:14:21 @ IM Coeur d'Alene 2013
Category Archives: Life
What’s that saying?
God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle.
Well, the big man upstairs (or whoever you believe in…just be a good person) is pushing the limits with two trips to the ER for my friend who was in a running accident and for my husband who was in a car accident. Details aside, I’m thankful everyone is ok from situations that could have been much worse.
A few lessons learned:
- If you get a deep gash in your face and are rushed to ER, ask for a plastic surgeon to stitch you back up. It’s your FACE.
- When it’s raining outside, hydroplaning is real. Fail to understand the risk involved and staples won’t just be office supplies — they’ll be in your head.
- The best remedy is always laughter. ALWAYS.
Needless to say, training happened, then it didn’t happen and I can feel my heart literally aching with stress. Thankfully, getting out and training is the one thing that calms me back down and helps get my mind back on track.
I can’t even recall what it is that I did over the past week as all I’m focusing on is making sure that work projects are launched without a hitch and that residual concussions don’t suddenly appear.
But I will tell you this: go tell your family you love them. Go tell your friends you care for them. Go for a run and be thankful that you’re healthy and alive, because there’s nothing better than that.
I closed out week 3 with:
10 hours training:
5,500 yards swimming
66.1 miles cycling
~23 miles running
30 minutes core and rolling
I haven’t posted since early January.
It hasn’t been for a lack of adventures — far from it. Over the past two years, I trained, got injured, trained again, raced, recovered, moved, started a new job, trained, ran a marathon PR, traveled and more.
I’ve enjoyed amazing runs with some of the best friends I’ve ever had and I explored new countries with the love of my life…with a little work mixed in.
Oh and did I mention the food in Europe?!
I am extremely lucky for these amazing opportunities and my husband who supports me and my nomadic tendencies (with a few hearty arguments along the way). Overall, I’ve done a decent job of keeping my mind busy – especially since Ironman.
Yet ever since that big race, that deep, inner motivation and athletic happiness gauge that used to overflow on a daily basis was waning. I was still happy, yet that “X factor” just left me a bit nonchalant and unfulfilled with where I was — I didn’t even admit to the funk I was in until Saturday.
I decided that February would be my New Years — my fresh start.
I needed to figure out what it was that I was missing, and I also decided that I am going to reprioritize/change some personal/life things over the next year. Not just about my own athletic endeavors, but choices that will help me beyond “Page the athletes” and into the “Page the wife, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, etc.” Redefining who I am outside of my sports and career. Let’s just leave those there.
As for the athletic side, I decided to change coaches and start a new journey toward Ironman 70.3 — Lake Stevens. My former triathlon coach was GREAT, my last running coach didn’t fit my style, and this time around, I just knew I needed something different. Someone who would be “all up in my shiz” and help me build both physical and mental confidence — enter Sonja Wieck.
My first, weekly GoSonja Google Hangout. Sneaky screenshot style.
Saturday was my first Sonja workout and consisted of a 2 hours and 15 minutes “test ride.” In other words, “let’s see what I’m working with here.” I finally got a Cobb saddle and was equipped to do an actual workout (not just spinning because it hurt too bad to go into aero with the other saddle).
I mustered up my gear, fuel, electronics and enough entertainment to get me through the workout. Unsure of what to expect, I just hopped on and followed the cue sheet.
Over two hours later, sweat literally pooling, my legs pushed to a limit they haven’t been to in a while…I smiled. There I was, solo in my apartment, smiling ear-to-ear and I pumped my fist in the air — I kid you not. It was the first time that I can recall that the “X Factor” was back. I’m sure it was the result of an overwhelming endorphin high, but whatever it was that I was missing, it was overwhelming my entire being.
I called Chicken Face while riding my endorphin high and he was a bit confused with my inexplicable glee. I continued to ride that high the entire weekend…into the BARRE3 class (bad idea), onto the Sunday test run, and meeting me here, as I write this post.
As I try to wrap my brain around what “clicked”, I can only guess that it’s partly due to a few things: my 2014 “life reprioritization” and its associated intention.
I know and am ok with a full Ironman not being in the books for 2014. Instead my intentions will be on my family, friends and focusing on half Ironmans. My intentions are no longer to get in as many new adventures as possible, but to enjoy the now and those that I am with.
We are always seeking for more, more, more (myself included), but what about what we already have? What’s in front of you and the beauty in the daily nuances, the sweat you’re shedding at that moment and the people who want to share those moments with you. I intend to make them and those moment a priority — over everything else.
At the end of 2012, I vowed to live adventurously. What I didn’t anticipate was just how…adventurous…2013 would be.
Contrary to its stereotype, adventure isn’t just global treks, skydiving, or a Swiss Family escapade. And adventure wouldn’t be adventure if it didn’t come with crazy highs and frustrating lows. Instead, I’ve discovered that adventure was finding patience, going outside of my comfort zone and making big, risky, and scary changes to my life and my family’s life. Some of which ended well and others did not.
But I suppose that’s part of the process, right? The process in living life, finding myself, creating a story and simply…evolving. In the end, it turns out that 2013 wasn’t so much about living adventurously, but rather, about taking chances. And it’s like they say, you only regret the chances you didn’t take.
In 2013, I traveled, I became an aunt (twice!), I learned about injury recovery and ankle rehab, I completed my first Ironman, I fell in love with triathlon, I cooked more, I moved to a different state, I started a new job, I met two of the most important friends I’ve ever had, I started trail running, I read more, I PR’d in the marathon, I became an ambassador, I registered for more races, and most importantly, I continue to learn more about what’s truly important, and love my husband, Lola and family more every day. Now that right there is what it’s all about.
Here’s to the chances and changes of 2013, and to you guys — thanks for your continued support along the entire way. Your comments and cheers mean so much to me.
Happy New Year & Happy Running!
“I don’t know…
I feel like shit, I have shin splints, I have a hangover, I just traveled to Ghana and back, I had an allergic reaction to my cat, I ate gluten, I just got back from President Obama’s Dreamworks tour…
I’m just going to take it easy.”
Then they PR.
By 30 minutes.
You’ve seen them. Heard of them. And perhaps, maybe much like myself, been called one. You know, those “sandbaggers” who make excuses, playing down their true strengths and abilities in preparation to have excuses for a possibly less than stellar race performance. And it’s not just runners or triathletes; according to Wikipedia, there is all different types of sandbagging depending on your sport. Regardless, it’s vicious and I’m guilty as charged.
I could make another excuse (My ankle! My training! My recovery!), but instead, I’d be back at it, sandbagging with the best of them. So instead, I’d like to issue a personal apology for any hint of sandbagging that may have come across in this training cycle or throughout the entire lifespan of this little blog. So here goes…
Dear Gracious Reader,
Hey. It’s me, Page. If you’re new to my blog or have been reading my rambling over the past few years, hopefully you know that what you see is what you get. Cursing, typos, glorious iPhone photos, good training cycles and bad…it’s all been displayed on the blog. And if you’re still coming back, thank you!
However, it has come to my attention that at times, I may have displayed some “sandbagging” qualities. I may have played down my training cycles, dismissed the highs and focused the lows. Sad, but true.
I wanted to confide in you and tell you what’s really happening. Those qualities aren’t to secretly demolish the competition, shock and awe, or break the ribbon in any grand manner. But rather, deep down, it was to shield the shadows of doubt and fear that come along with every race experience. Or in other words, a lack of confidence.
At times, I take leaps of faith and declare my true goals (e.g. running a 3:15), but as the training cycle goes on and I start to break down, the excuses become more prevalent. It’s true, an ankle injury IS a reason to be concerned, but rather than wanting to “throw in the towel” as I so eloquently proclaimed in my last blog post, I should readjust perspective and the plan, but never the end goal.
Perhaps it’s because blogging creates this hidden pressure among us all and I/we feel pressured to perform, or fear writing a “DNS, DNF, excuse, excuse, excuse” race recap. Why do we fear this? Because it’s a proclamation to the world that we tried and failed?
Well, I’m pretty sure that’s the meaning of life.
And if anyone is judging you because you tried and failed, well then, they’re not worth your energy. This sport isn’t about them or their opinions, but it’s about YOU. Working, trying, pushing, sucking, failing and trying again because we love it. Nothing else.
It’s not sandbagging, it’s the secret doubt that sits within me.
I have a healthy, albeit sometimes injured, body that I should be thankful for.
I’m going to relish the places it takes me, even if it’s not on the path I had planned.
I’m going to once again try my best to keep trying, keep failing, and keep enjoying the journey along the way, regardless of what race recap I write. Why?
Because that’s life.
Where have I been?
I’ve been running!
I’ve been registering!
I’ve been celebrating little miracles!
It’s been one of those “life is good” past couple of weeks…and boy, did I need that.
Let’s go in some order of priority here, folks… First and foremost, there’s a new little blonde babe back home and I already envy her hair. My other sister had her first baby! She’s teeny tiny (she just wanted to get to the world a bit earlier than planned), she adorable and I’m so thankful for FaceTime. Congrats Ryann and Eric, I can’t wait to meet her!
And then I got to FaceTime with Captain Adorable himself. I mean you can’t make this stuff up, people!
Second, I got to see Chicken Face for his birthday two weekends ago. Nothing makes me feel like myself again more than spending time with him.
Not only was I on “I’m with my husband cloud nine” but I also managed to get in what was supposed to be 18 miles, but turned to 20. I kept looking down at my watch and thinking, “Huh. That’s strange.” But it was one of those burst through the doors, proclaiming to the world, “I F-ING LOVE RUNNING!” I was all jacked up on endorphins thanks to the 7:34 avg. pace – my legs were back!
Last weekend was a repeat performance: 20 miles, 7:34 avg. pace, but I was ready to be done after mile 14. Perhaps it was that Barre3 class I tried for the first time two days prior…
Regardless, I’m living in my little, “Welcome back legs, now let’s get to work!” bubble and maybe it was the endorphins. Maybe it was boredom. Nah, it’s was just because I REALLY WANT TO GO OUT THERE AND DEMOLISH IT! So I registered for this… (more to come on this soon!)
It’s nice when life hands you those moments that just make you giddy. Now it’s time to get down to business; race day is getting close!
Weeks 7 and 8 marked the jump from the base phase of training to pre-marathon training. It also marked what I what I would call the, “Oh shit. Summer is over. Here comes the rain…” phase.
Luckily, Chicken Face and I missed Poseidon’s rising in Portland and celebrated Nicole and Mike’s nuptials in San Diego instead. I’m intentionally not posting any photos of the stunning bride and instead here’s the “I only know three people at this wedding…but whatever” face.
But as the mornings get darker and my days of California sun are waning, I’m reevaluating my running wardrobe (enter the purchase of this new jacket and these running tights), gathering my early morning running determination, and amping up my mileage to run my first 16 miles since IMCDA.
Also of note is my mad salad stacking skills. When it’s by size and not weight, I accept the challenge of stacking the most in the smallest container so I can be cheap.
Fall is here people. Let’s DO THIS.
Mon., 9/23: 30 min. easy run + cross train
Tues., 9/24: McMillan’s Fartlek Workout: 15 to 20 minute warm-p + Fartlek Workout: 6 to 8 times 2 minutes at 5k effort with 1 minute recovery jog + 15 to 20 minute Cool-down
Wed., 9/25: 40 min. easy run + Athletic Yoga
Thurs., 9/26: Accidental rest day
Fri., 9/27: 16 mile run to work
Sat., 9/28: Wedding dance-off
Sun., 9/29: Post-wedding 5K (cutest idea ever)
Mon., 9/30: 30 minute easy run + Cross Train
Tues., 10/1: Nike track workout. What this photo doesn’t show is the ridiculous hail storm we ran in.
Wed., 10/2: Trail run with Jen (who looks just like Heidi Klum..I hate her already. KIDDING!) + Athletic Yoga
Thurs., 10/3: 40 minute run
Fri., 10/4: Swim
Sat., 10/5: McMillan’s Progression Run: Run the first 3rd of the run easy, the middle 3rd – medium, and the last 3rd – medium to hard.
Sun., 10/6: 3 miles sprinting trying to find Jen at the Portland marathon, missed her, then running 5 miles to the finish line to ensure I wouldn’t miss her finish. So basically, just running around the marathon course in search of Jen.
Congratulations! You read the most random post ever.
Now it’s your turn: tell me something totally random.
Here we are. Recapping weeks three and four.
The past two weeks have been an odd mix of highs and lows: adventures with new friends, emotional conversations about the future, my family coming to visit, having to miss a few workouts due to my hamstring and those stupid heels, and still grappling with this feeling of an extreme loss of running fitness.
As someone who relates physical wellbeing as the main indicator of overall health (I know, stupid), I tend to dismiss how emotions and this little internal dialogue regarding life’s decisions can affect all aspects of life. If it’s not bleeding, tearing and broken – you’re fine, right? Well, apparently not.
I’m not talking about sleep loss, weight gain or headaches that are clear indicators that the stress is building up, but rather the little, deep things inside that you try to brush off, but they keep building, building, building until you snap. That stuff. It’s bad man, real bad.
So here’s a brutal, and probably too open, dose of reality: life is scary, life is hard, and if you (I’m speaking to myself here) don’t find a way to handle it, it will continue to eat away at you. Today, it built up so much that I finally said, “Screw it.” I knew if I ran I’d just get more upset about the fact that my legs weren’t performing the way I’d like them to, so I marched myself over to the pool.
Not only is the pool at Nike rarely full, but it’s simply gorgeous and empowering. There’s something about gliding through the lane, by myself, with the bright window light shining in from my left that calms me. And yes, this is coming from a girl who could easily do without swimming. But boy oh boy that pool, I feel lucky even getting to look at it.
I swam 1,900 meters, the farthest I’ve swam since Ironman, just thinking about my arms. I don’t know why and it wasn’t in regards to appearance, but just the feeling of pushing through the water, fingers pointed to the bottom, trying to flipturn, pushing off the wall, and continuing to glide. They felt powerful, yet so weak at the same time.
I got out of the pool feeling more cleared than when I went in. It wasn’t gone, but my chattering mind had turned down.
It’s not a solution, but I know this much about myself: being physically active and moving is critical to some semblance of mental and emotional balance in my life. It’s not just about racing or weight or blogging; instead, it’s my version of meditation, clarity and reflection. It’s my sanity and I am so very thankful for my healthy legs, heart, lungs and, this little life of mine.
After moving, I come out of my slump feeling thankful for the amazing opportunities given to me and that yes, it’s hard, but I can handle it.
Mon., 8/26: McMillan Strides Workout (~5.5 mi)
Tues., 8/27: Crosstrain: Core, Upper & Yoga
Wed., 8/28: Recovery Run at the Nike track + Strength (~3.5 mi)
Thurs., 8/29: First PDX Run in the Rain (~7 mi)
Fri., 8/30: Injured! Spinning + Yoga + Rest
Sat., 8/31: Injured! Stand-Up Paddleboard + Rest
Mon., 9/2: Labor Day Jaunts with Jen (5.5 mi)
Wed., 9/3: Regular Run (6 mi)
Thurs., 9/4: Recovery Run (3.6 mi)
Fri., 9/5: Run to Work (12+ mi / Garmin you’re killin’ me)
Sat., 9/6: Recovery Run (4 mi.)
Who are we kidding? I’ve never tried Internet dating. I started dating Chicken Face in college and the closest thing that people of my age were doing at that time was creeping photos of guys via MySpace or perusing the collection of questionable characters on HotorNot.com.
But, BUT, if I can leverage all of the gut-wrenching/awe-inducing stories I’ve heard from the Internet dating archives, I’m pretty sure I can make an adequate assumption (but then again, we all know what that does). Truth be told, making friends in new cities can be a seemingly daunting task.
So let’s review this Internet friend dating best-case scenario, shall we?
Step 1: Real-life friend in home state introduces you to potential new friend in new state, online. After the first introduction, the conversation either stops dead in its tracks or the lurking continues. You creep, they wink (or whatever other functionality your site may have), you both message each other enough times until you realize that they have a fully functioning brain and/or you won’t get murdered. Check.
Step 2: Exchange phone numbers. You still haven’t actually spoken in person, but default to text messaging. If they hear you talk, they might notice how completely awkward this is in your voice. Stick with text…one step at a time.
Step 3: To emoticon or not to emoticon? This is a big determining factor: are they an emoticon abuser too? If so, let the emoticons rain down in all of their emoji glory! If not, put on your big kid pants and pretend like you are a mature adult who scoffs at such child-like behavior. I’m a professional, dammit!
Step 4: Agree to meet. Ok, we’ve moved to the big leagues now, folks. What are you going to do? What are you going to wear? What if you have nothing to talk about? What if you stumble your own words and seem incapable of any form of intelligent conversation? Then you remember, “F it. This is who I am. Stupid jokes, awkward sentence structure and all.” Then let them plan what to do.
Step 5: Meet. If you’re a hugger, just go in for the hug. But after that…just try and be you. Your gut will tell you what to do.
Step 6: Evaluate. If you didn’t get the “oh we could be friends” vibe, well then this blog post is dead right here. If you did, your evaluation and over-analyzation will likely commence here. Questions will range from personality compatibility to ease of conversation. If all things are positive, you’ll get home and wonder if there will be hangout number two. Don’t laugh…remember…you know NO ONE here and could really use a gal pal.
Step 7: Confirmation. You either text immediately or await a confirmation text. BING! It’s in and you share abbreviated English and poor grammar texts about politics and religion…oh wait, no, it’s just more emoticons. You like it already. Then you plan hang out number two. Then three. Then four. Now five.
Step 8: Hope. Hope that your new friend doesn’t think you’re completely psycho for writing this blog post. See you at yoga in an hour, friend!
Thank you to everyone for being so extremely nice and welcoming as I made the move to Portland. Honestly, what would we do without Internet –> IRL friends?
Anyone else have great Internet BFF or moving to a new city stories?
This post isn’t about triathlons, running, California, Oregon, or new adventures. Instead, it’s a nod in the most public, yet private, way possible to the most important topic in my life.
To my husband and the person that I’ve promised a life-long adventure to. To the one person I’m the truest version of myself with. To the man who puts up with me. To the smartest guy I know.
Happy anniversary, Chicken Face. Here’s to two years and many, many more to come. I miss and love you.
You guys are too nice! Thank you so much for the love and I apologize I haven’t been able to respond or follow-up with my post-Ironman thoughts yet.
Ohh…my two seconds of fame in the IMCDA 2013 recap video.
I’m about 20 seconds getting my body marking. I’M FAMOUS MA!
As they warn, I’ve been hit with the post-Ironman bug. It’s like my body said, “Now that you’re done, I can finally release all of those viruses I’ve been holding back for so long and let them viciously attack you.” Doing anything productive, or putting together a coherent sentence, takes far too much energy. My sloth-like self has downing copious amount of DayQuil while sprawling lazily across the couch, wishing that network TV would make better daytime programming.
In-between blowing my nose and hawking up God knows what, I’ve been preparing for my move to Portland…which is happening TOMORROW! Another thank you is due for everyone who has emailed me their personal Portland insight and recommendations – they are valued beyond belief.
I moved to California from Nevada five years ago and have since grown to love this over-priced, yet beautiful adventure land. It’s where I fell back in love with running, grew into a triathlete, and met my best friends. This new adventure is rich with anticipation and excitement, but also sadness as I leave my friends and family.
Great rewards require great risk and I’m sticking with my 2013 resolution to live adventurously. I’ll be sure to report back on more Ironman thoughts soon and I hope you’ll stick with me as I share my next adventure…including training for my next goal.
Next time we chat, I’ll be checking in from the Pacific Northwest.